I sit here a different person. A person who is making decisions in her own life. A person who is taking responsibility for her actions. A women who is now someone she wants to be around. Why? Because I now have positive intentions about myself.
Those of you who know me, you know me as a 'positive person'. Someone who is always 'seeing the greener side'. Someone who 'turns a negative into a positive'. I was that way...for other people. I wasn't that way for me.
I use to ask a lot of questions...A LOT, just ask my husband...lol. I have always been indecisive. ALWAYS...since way back before whenever I can remember. I'm sure I was in my past lives as well. Maybe not all of them, but you get what I'm saying. ;)
I always made sure I was doing whatever it was to make others happy. Whatever I needed to do to please whomever it was that needed something. I didn't want them to be inconvenienced or feel left out. The one thing I was doing was leaving myself out. I am now taking responsibility for that. Missing out on so many things...real friendships...putting effort in things that I believe in...things that I want...
I've read lots of 'self development' books, taken workshops, etc, but all the work that I've been doing hadn't clicked with me until Monday, December 3rd, 2012. The weekend before, I took a class about me. A Discovery Course that changed my life.
I learned so much about myself...I learned to genuinely give myself permission to love myself. To support myself. To be present...to show up in life. To really make that difference. For me.
I realize that I have all I need...all the tools...all the support...all the love...all inside of me. I am in control of my happiness and I am finally happy. :) I am learning that me being happy causes a chain reaction. My favorite response thus far??? My husband...the fact that he is ECSTATIC that I no longer ask what he wants for dinner and how he wants it made. I just make it. For the first time ever, I open the refrigerator and know what goes together...it comes to me effortlessly. And this is just the tip of the changes that have been going on these past few weeks.
Finally...I get it. :D
More to come. :)